I am a Utah Mormon.

I read an article today talking about how when people use the term "Utah Mormon" they are never referring to themselves. It's always used in a slightly condescending way to point out how much like a "Utah Mormon" someone else is or how unlike a "Utah Mormon" you are. So apparently, being a Utah Mormon is undesirable.

I'll admit that at times, I've not wanted to be considered a "Utah Mormon" either, even though I grew up in the state, loved it, have a very deep love for Provo and BYU, and feel like I am doing my best to be a good member of the church. But my perspective on "Utah Mormons" has suddenly changed with my very life-altering and very recent move to Minneapolis. I'm pretty sure I'm about as 100% "Utah Mormon" as they come. 

Being in a different state after living in Utah pretty much your whole life is weird. Just plain weird. Yeah, my family went on vacations out of state, my honeymoon was in the Bahamas, it's not like I never left Utah. But I always had Utah to go back to after the fun was over. My little safe haven of my Mormon family, my Mormon friends, and, heck, even Mormon strangers walking around everywhere was always there once I'd experienced a little taste from the outside world. And those little tastes were enough for me. 

Sure, I have a nice ward here and family is close, which are two big blessings that I couldn't live without, and there's still my husband and my son and we still do the same religious things we did when we lived in Utah. But here, it feels like no one else around me shares my beliefs. I'm not expecting them to, either. I knew moving away from Utah would be different. I knew that wherever we moved would have a smaller LDS population than I'm used to. I knew that we would be walking into a place very different from the places I've called home most of my life. 

What I didn't know... was that I don't know how to not be a "Utah Mormon." 

I didn't know what it would feel like walking through a store and not recognizing someone from church or school. I didn't know what it would be like driving through a city that has different churches on every corner! Every one! I didn't know how it would feel to be holed up in our hotel room, thinking about how very small and very insignificant I feel in a place where I am, and all the things I hold dear are, very small and very insignificant.

I'm not saying that life outside of Utah is harder. I've heard many times over that there are pros and cons to living inside of Utah and to living outside of Utah. I'm just saying that this girl, this very very Utah Mormon girl, is very very outside of her comfort zone and has so much to learn about the world and about herself. Wish me luck.