I'm Pregnant!

I am so very happy to say that we are expecting a baby in April 2015! This is a dream come true for us, and I am so blessed. I'm going to wait to post this until after we've reached the 12-14 weeks, but I want to write about it now!

For the past few weeks, I've suddenly had a strong urge to urinate much more frequently. I've been feeling slightly sick pretty much all the time, and I have been more tired than usual. I began to expect that I was pregnant from the time I believe I conceived. I just had a feeling that I was, and all the symptoms and weirdness I have been feeling just added to that suspicion. I was thinking maybe I was making it all up, and maybe it was all in my head, but it's not! This morning, I took a pregnancy test, and it came back positive!!! I am so excited and I can't decide if I even want to tell anybody but I am bursting with the news!

If the online calculators are right, our baby will be due right around April 4, 2015. My first concern is that I better not be having my baby on April 1. No April Fool's baby for me. My second is that this kid might have to share a birthday with Easter every few years. In fact, I looked it up and April 4 was Easter Sunday in 2010 and 1999, and the next expected time that Easter will fall on April 4 is 2021. Also, this baby might be celebrating birthdays during General Conference weekend, which might be a super awesome birthday present every year, but also might leave less time for celebration. On the up side, family is more likely to get together for Conference, so maybe that will be a great thing and we will see family a lot! Either way, I am excited for this baby to be born, no matter what time of year.

At this point, it would be so much fun to have a girl, but Spencer and I are both hoping for a boy. I always wished I had an older brother, and I am just feeling like a boy might be just what this family needs. I have also always thought that I wouldn't want to know the gender of my baby, but Spencer isn't quite so convinced that we should wait. My mom didn't find out my gender and it was so exciting for her to find out at the birth! We will see once we get closer to that time.

Anyway, there is the announcement! I can't wait to see what pregnancy is like and I am so glad to be looking forward to having a baby in our home!

Monthly Disappointments: The Negative Pregnancy Test

I've never had a miscarriage. But I have felt the disappointment of not being able to conceive. The worst part about pregnancy tests is that you get excited for a few weeks, noticing small changes about your life that may indicate pregnancy, and until the last minute, you are filled with hope. Those few weeks of anticipation are the same every month. You can't match the excitement of the desire to be a mother, and the possibility that it might be true. And it all rides on that little test strip. You pee on the strip with the excitement of the past few weeks building you up. You wait the three minutes it says, convincing yourself that this might be it, and remembering all the little things you've noticed that have been different about your month this time. And then you peek, and all you see is this:

There's not even a faint possibility that this could be incorrect. There's not a faint second line. In fact, the entire viewing area is perfectly white, except that devastating dark pink line that says so little and yet changes every thought you've had for the last few weeks. It takes away your confidence to identify changes in your body. And when it is your first time, you don't know what to expect. Some women don't have morning sickness at all, and others crave certain foods. Even if you could talk to someone about it, it is hard to tell a secret like this to someone until you're sure you're pregnant. What if something goes wrong? What if everything they tell you doesn't happen to you during pregnancy? Or what if you tell someone and they keep bringing it up, constantly reminding you of each and every negative pregnancy test result you've had? 

I just had one of those monthly disappointments. My husband and I want a baby so badly! We've been talking a lot about names and I've been double checking due date possibilities and ovulation calculators to make sure we had our best chance, and I've noticed little things about my body that seem to be different, but it seems that I made them up in my head. It just sucks. 

Anyway, the only explanation is that it isn't quite my time yet. But I wanted to share this because I'm sure other women have dealt with this, maybe even in larger cases where they try forever and later find out they are infertile. I think it is something that any woman who desires motherhood has felt, and we can all share our experiences!

First Post: Life In All Its Stages

Well here it goes! I am going to be a blogger. Maybe this will help me fill my time now that I have so much of it.

The first thing I want to post about is life, and all its stages. First of all, I'm certain that days get shorter and years fly by the more you grow up. Serious! I feel like the first like 17 years of my life took FOREVER, and now the last few have gone by in a couple blinks. Pretty sure this is going to be scientifically proven sometime soon. If not, I might have to help research along with a scientific discovery of my own.
Which is why it is so important to treasure each moment of your life! It makes me so sad when people are not happy with the time of life they are in. We will never achieve happiness if we don't create happiness on our own. Sure, we can't be extremely happy every single day, but we can strive to be as happy as we can on MOST days. This means accepting the time of life we are in, and enjoying it to the fullest.
The worst category of upset people are those in Utah County who believe that life will not be worth anything until they are married. So many people have said to me that I'm so lucky I'm married, with a sad, faraway look in their eyes. Funny thing is, there are times when I wish I wasn't married! Don't get me wrong; I love my husband, and I am so happy that we are married. But sometimes, husbands just don't measure up to a group of girls giggling about the guys they like, staying up late watching chick flicks and watching sappy romantic movies that bring tears to the eye. I must admit, my husband has watched some pretty sappy movies with me, and he has even liked some of them okay. But he doesn't crave more tears after a sad story like The Notebook or feel his heart flutter when the main characters finally kiss. It's just not the same watching a chick flick with a man. Husbands are quite wonderful when you realize that you've actually lived a fairy tale, and that he is your knight in shining armor, and you become very grateful that you are no longer on that hunt for the perfect man, wishing that he would ask you on a date. Although, I still dream about my wedding day on occasion.
Anyway, my main thing is, be happy with where you are at in life. Everyone can work on this a little bit. I challenge you to try to make the most of your life as it is, and let yourself be happy with whatever you have been given. It's worth it!